For me this shows an impact of confusing who we are with what we do. When we know we are OK and what we do is just what we do, then resilience is not too far away, yet stake our self worth on our performance and it can have quite a negative impact on our thinking
The kind of feedback we get from parents and teachers as young children has a major impact on the implicit beliefs we develop about our abilities — including whether we see them as innate and unchangeable, or as capable of developing through effort and practice. When we do well in school and are told that we are “so smart,” “so clever,” or “such a good student,” this kind of praise implies that traits like smartness, cleverness, and goodness are qualities you either have or you don’t. The net result: when learning something new is truly difficult, smart-praise kids take it as sign that they aren’t “good” and “smart,” rather than as a sign to pay attention and try harder. Incidentally, this is particularly true for women.